Gummi Bear Emerges From Digestive Tract Unharmed Least Effective Cat Calls By Neil Campbell SUGAR LAND, TX—Shortly after reports surfaced today that the Boy Scouts of America had voted to lift its ban on gay youths, local homosexual child Max Lovell, 14, told reporters that he was looking forward to joining the organization and finally bei... The Rangers nudged the Boston Bruins on a nifty goal by Chris Kreider at 7 minutes 3 seconds of overtime — but only after rebounding from holes of 2-0 and 3-2.     Members of the National Coalition for Syrian Revolutionary and Opposition Forces met in Istanbul to elect a new leader and prepare for an expected international conference in Geneva.     DES MOINES, IA—With complaints about everything from “raggedy prayer mats” to “the grimiest ablution fountain ever,” local Muslims have slammed the al-Wali Mosque on 14th Street as “the worst of the worst,” giving... MIAMI—During Game 1 of the Eastern Conference Finals, players on the Miami Heat confirmed Wednesday that they were wholly unprepared for the aggressive brand of basketball played by the chainsaw-wielding members of the Indiana Pacers squad. The soldier was identified Thursday as Lee Rigby, 25, a ceremonial military drummer and machine-gunner, who had served in Afghanistan. He had a 2-year-old son.     According to the latest Consumer Reports reader survey, Apple tops the list of brand-name computer manufacturers for the quality of its tech support, far surpassing other large companies. The report points to “ease of contacting staff, clarity of advice, technical knowledge, patience, and time for follow-up” in the phone and online support areas. Service at the Genius Bar rates equally highly. In addition, Apple improved on its own scores from last year’s survey. With David Beckham retiring last week, Onion Sports examines notable moments from the soccer player’s illustrious 21-year career. LONDON—Just two months away from Kate Middleton’s speculated July due date, sources close to the Royal Family confirmed today the pregnant Duchess of Cambridge is in the throes of yet another case of morning sickness. The failure of an Interstate 5 bridge over the Skagit River north of Seattle dumped vehicles and people into the water, the Washington State Patrol said.     Apple has announced that customers have downloaded over 40 billion apps — nearly 20 billion in 2012 alone. The App Store has over 500 million active accounts and had a record-breaking December with over two billion downloads during the month. Eddy Cue, Apple’s senior vice president of Internet Software and Services, says, “It has been an incredible year for the iOS developer community.” Developers have created over 775,000 apps for iPhone, iPad, and iPod touch and have been paid over $7 billion by Apple. A recent surge in fighting in Darfur has led to an unnerving increase in civilian upheaval, displacing nearly 300,000 people, according to the United Nations.     A federal court ruled that the government does not have to release photographs of the body of Osama bin Laden taken after he was shot dead in 2011, claiming the images could incite violence against the U.S. In a widely anticipated speech, President Obama on Thursday said he would impose new curbs on the use of drone strikes, and he sought to renew his effort to close the prison at Guantánamo Bay, Cuba.     Apple announced that it will hold its annual Worldwide Developers Conference (WWDC) June 10 through June 14 at San Francisco’s Moscone West. At the five-day conference, developers from around the world will learn about the future of iOS and OS X. WWDC will also feature more than 100 technical sessions presented by over 1,000 Apple engineers and hands-on labs to help developers integrate new technologies. And the popular Apple Design Awards will showcase the most outstanding apps available through the App Store and Mac App Store. Tickets for this year’s WWDC go on sale Thursday, April 25, at 10 a.m. PDT. The North Korean envoy, Vice Marshal Choe Ryong-hae, said the North would “accept the proposal” by China, its biggest benefactor which it has strained relations with.     In this video report from CNN, documentary film director Malik Bendjelloul talks about how he used a $1.99 iPhone app to finish shooting his Oscar-nominated film, “Searching for Sugar Man.” The film tracks the rise to fame of the Detroit musician Rodriguez, who never made it big in the United States but became a legend in South Africa. Bendjelloul started shooting the movie on film, but with just a few shots remaining, he found his budget depleted. That’s when he turned to an iPhone app called 8mm by Nexvio, which gave his video a retro feel. “It looks like real film,” says Bendjelloul. “You can’t tell the difference.” “Searching for Sugar Man” has garnered praise at the Tribeca film festival, SXSW Film, and the Los Angeles Film Festival. COLUMBUS, OH—According to staff at Dusty’s Kitchen, the local restaurant’s extreme burger challenge, formerly described as “an insurmountable mountain of beef and cheese,” has recently been moved down to the regular dinner me...